Let’s NOT COMPARE.No matter how innocent your remarks may be,it is always troubling to mention former lovers. “John and I used to go to the Met every Saturday morning.”Not good form.
Know Someone’s Favorites.
How she takes her coffee.
Shaken, not stirred.
Get the drift?
Everyone Has SECRETS.
Some are sad.
Some are hilarious.
Some are scandalous.
Most are just mundane.
When you love someone
who loves you,
secrets are not a problem.
Respect for each other
means respect for
each other’s friends.
If this is a problem, it’s areal
problem. Attend to it.
On the surface jealousy
is simply a lack of trust.
And that is not a good sign.
But if it is justified,
this train is going nowhere.
Small Square Boxes
Every woman knows there are
only two kinds of rings:
And, all other rings.
An unwed man presenting
the latter had better
prepare a clever preamble or
look for cover.
MUSIC IS MAGIC.Especially romantic music.Especially live music.Especially an original songwritten just for someone.
TIMING Is Everything.When moods turn south,blossoms do wonders. When nights get cold, firesides are cozy. When work grinds down, champagne bubbles up.
Light The Candles.Use the good china. And crystal.When you are together, put style in your life. This is part of living well,
TOGETHER.This is romance.
Ask The Father Of The Bride. Once upon a time,
THE RITUALof asking a father’s permissionfor the hand of his daughterwas an essential traditionfraught with danger.It still is today.The modern young manwho ignores this wonderfulpiece of etiquette displays analarming lack of civility.
Be True To Yourself.In the heady rush of true love,it’s easy to compromiseyour real opinions in the nameof romantic tranquility.This is a mistake.
BE YOURSELF.In the end it’s better.“Thanks ever so, darling,but I don’t much care forcalf brains.”
Open New Doors Together.Don’t sit back. Step out.The ADVENTURESyou share build bondsthat last forever.New adventures entailsome risk, and risk can bequite intoxicating.
MONEY.About saving. Debt.Past behavior.Expectations, confrontationsand tribulations.Put it all on the table nowso it won’t be a nuisance later.
POLITICSIs Not ADeal Breaker.Unless youmake it one.
Families Are Different.Suddenly families start tomatter the closer you getto an engagement andwedding. Fortunately,families don’t get married.Only two people IN LOVEcan marry. In dealing withanother’s family a littleaccommodation, humor andaffection goes a long way.
SayAU REVOIRto Old Flames.Period.
PLAY TOGETHERAnd Apart.Sports played togethercan be great fun.But don’t ask him to abandonhis golf with the guys.Don’t ask her to deserther tennis pals.
TASTESAre Supposed To Differ.That’s partof the electricity.That’s partof an exciting life.You say tomato,I say to-mah-to.
Pay Attention ToCLOTHES.Not your clothes, silly.Someone in love dresses verycarefully. And it’s avery good idea to take notice.The choices madewere made to please you.
Surprises Are Essential.
An unschedulednight of dancing.Suddenly, tickets to Paris.A HIDDEN GIFT.Surprises lift romance tostratospheric heights.
How To HandleGOOD NEWS. The quickest wayto lose good friends is to letsomeone else tell themthat you are engaged.Tip: make a list and call themall within the same hour.And don’t forget relatives.
Birthdays Are Trouble.Not the present.THE DATE.If you don’t knowher birthday,you don’t know her.And now you’re in bigtrouble, buster.
Let’s NOT COMPARE.No matter how innocentyour remarks may be,it is always troublingto mention former lovers. “John and I used to go to theMet every Saturday morning.”Not good form.
A PDA Suggestion.At parties and events,some couples in lovemay be found desperatelyclinging to each other asthough their ship hasjust been torpedoed.They need to know that thisbehavior is off-putting.Who on earth wishes to talkto a couple who is sayingGOODBYE to the world?
Don’t Answer The Phone. During DINNER.Nobody has permissionto interrupt conversationsand destroy the ambienceof this end-of-day ritual.
Buttons Not To Push.As the saying goes,when you reallyKNOW SOMEONE well, you know the buttonsto push to really make themirritated and upset.How wise you would benot to push the buttonsof someone you love andwho loves you.
Out Of Sight,But Not Out Of Mind.When alone andout of town on business,how wonderful is itto find flowers waiting for youin your hotel room?UNFORGETTABLE,actually.
Bring Back The Love Letter.Make no mistake about it:there is nothing quite sotender and romanticas receiving a
LOVE LETTER.Yes, handwritten on nicestationery and deliveredjust to you.
A TRIBAL TABOO.You are, of course,perfectly entitled to say whatyou wish about your family.But, it needs to be restatedhere that the love of your life isnot entitled to express hisor her opinion quite so frankly.As the proverb states sosuccinctly, “blood is thickerthan water.” In the vernacular, please don’t go there.
Ah, THE RING.A diamond engagement ringis the traditional symbol of true love andlifetime commitment.It matters not a smidgen howlarge the diamond is.What does matter, however,are the aesthetic qualities thatalways make your ringa joy to behold. Remember,over a lifetime a woman looksat her ring a million times.
See THE FORESTFor The Trees.Try not to dwell on miniscule details and sillydifferences of opinion.He can like Deco and you canlike Nouveau and stillbe madly in love.In the grand picture it matters not.
Keep Your MYSTERY. It’s really not necessaryto keep all the cosmeticbottles out on the sink infull view. As a magicianmight say, no peekingbehind the curtain.
The Victorians Did It.They read aloud toeach other.Often for a lifetime. Novels, stories, articles.This is a wonderfulway to SHARESOMETHINGyou enjoy. And by the way,it can be very romantic.
Compromise Is An Art.Managed gracefullywithout resentment,it is the magic behindTRUE LOVE.
WALK TOGETHER.For centuries walkingwas at the center of courtship.It still is, but without vigilantchaperones close behind.On a walk silence is permitted. On a walk difficult subjectscan be broached.On a walk, hand-in-hand,two hearts can be one.
COOKTOGETHER.And clean uptogether.
Every Now And Then.Dress to the nines.SEND A NOTEof mad love.Do a headstand.Go off the grid. Why not?
KEEP LISTENING.We all have a tendencyto listen more carefully topeople we’ve just met.This is unfortunate.Keep listening and you’ll avoidcountless misunderstandings.In the process, you will learn something.And, deepen your love.
The Unexamined LifeIs Not Worth Living.That’s what Socrates thought a few thousand years ago.And he makes a big pointtoday for couples in love.Only when youKNOW YOURSELFcan you truly love another.
You’ll Never Forget.Never will you forgetTHE MOMENT ofproposal. Exactly where youwere. What you were wearing.How you felt. This is arguablythe most profound momentin one’s life. And it deservesdignity, maturity andseriousness of purpose.And when it is done,then together,jump over the moon.
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